Lensadstik is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, blissful mole.

Lensadstik created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lensadstik, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lensadstik, he will remove you from existence.

Lensadstik's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Lensadstik's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. You must love Lensadstik.

4. Do not hurt swans.

5. Never talk about eukaryotes.