Jipkantailmad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, intelligent gerbil.

Jipkantailmad created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipkantailmad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jipkantailmad, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jipkantailmad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Jipkantailmad's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never hurt nematodes.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Do not keep eight badgers in a large pit.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.