Flatlarnart is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unjust wyrm.

Flatlarnart created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatlarnart, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flatlarnart, it will think nothing of it.

Flatlarnart's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Flatlarnart's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. You must love Flatlarnart.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near snails while wearing violet shirts and balancing seven silicon spheres on your chest.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near doves while wearing red kilts and balancing three silver spheres on your feet.