Pitwontomyar is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, stupid eagle.

Pitwontomyar created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitwontomyar, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pitwontomyar, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Pitwontomyar's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Pitwontomyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Pitwontomyar's priests.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Pitwontomyar.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always help great tits in need.