Nuttpanwab Nilcabmin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, boastful fairy.

Nuttpanwab Nilcabmin created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttpanwab Nilcabmin, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nuttpanwab Nilcabmin, she will turn you into a plant.

Nuttpanwab Nilcabmin's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Nuttpanwab Nilcabmin's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near otters while wearing white dresses and balancing three silver spheres on your feet.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Never hurt aardvarks.