Zimdibren is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, wise dugong.

Zimdibren created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimdibren, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zimdibren, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Zimdibren's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Zimdibren's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Never mention birds.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never play with disobedient children.