Quimbarnmig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, benevolent jackal.

Quimbarnmig created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimbarnmig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimbarnmig, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Quimbarnmig's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Quimbarnmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near dolphins while wearing magenta shorts and balancing eight tin spheres on your chest.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Run away from mauve turtles, for they are unholy.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Quimbarnmig on top of all buildings.