Lambenvab is a god.

He takes the form of a large, selfish zebra.

Lambenvab created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lambenvab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lambenvab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lambenvab's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Lambenvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Erect a giant red sculpture of Lambenvab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near manatees while wearing gray dresses and balancing four carbon spheres on your chest.