Gesstaflarp is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, temperamental crane.

Gesstaflarp created energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gesstaflarp, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gesstaflarp, he will refuse to believe in you.

Gesstaflarp's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gesstaflarp's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gesstaflarp.

2. Never mention swans.

3. Do not hurt gulls.

4. Hide if eight ants approach from the south.

5. Gesstaflarp must be the most important thing in your life.