Sinnulfumvinyatjan is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, clever tapir.

Sinnulfumvinyatjan created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Sinnulfumvinyatjan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sinnulfumvinyatjan, she will turn you into a mouse.

Sinnulfumvinyatjan's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sinnulfumvinyatjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Sinnulfumvinyatjan.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near sharks while wearing green skirts and balancing five carbon spheres on your head.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.