Vintimwit is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, egotistical beaver.

Vintimwit created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vintimwit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vintimwit, it will make you grow a tail.

Vintimwit's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Vintimwit's Holy Commandments

1. Vintimwit loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. You must love Vintimwit.

3. Never feed lots of rice to swans while wearing red shoes.

4. Feed all hungry shrews.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.