Witmanvag Dogtitfot is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent fairy.

Witmanvag Dogtitfot created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witmanvag Dogtitfot, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Witmanvag Dogtitfot, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Witmanvag Dogtitfot's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Witmanvag Dogtitfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near mice.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Otters are not to be trusted.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Always help goats.