Cudyarpjamquill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unselfish crab.

Cudyarpjamquill created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Cudyarpjamquill, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cudyarpjamquill, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cudyarpjamquill's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Cudyarpjamquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt geese.

2. Never feed peas to mites while wearing trousers.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cudyarpjamquill.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Hide if nine snakes approach from the south.