Hoggoftig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, deceitful shrew.

Hoggoftig created the Virgo Supercluster two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hoggoftig, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hoggoftig, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hoggoftig's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Hoggoftig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always help nematodes.

3. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

4. Do not keep four rats in a large pit.

5. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.