Larnhabyogtarglip Cabgebbad is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, generous snake.

Larnhabyogtarglip Cabgebbad created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnhabyogtarglip Cabgebbad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Larnhabyogtarglip Cabgebbad, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Larnhabyogtarglip Cabgebbad's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Larnhabyogtarglip Cabgebbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight mites in a large pit.

2. Never hurt dogs.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never talk about fire.