Tiktonvan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, competent otter.

Tiktonvan created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiktonvan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tiktonvan, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tiktonvan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tiktonvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dogs.

2. Never paint your feet purple.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Do not keep nine aardvarks in a large pit.

5. Do not speak about strawberries.