Fasgudzan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, blissful chicken.

Fasgudzan created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fasgudzan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fasgudzan, he will destroy your favourite star.

Fasgudzan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Fasgudzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.