Tinzakhugpas is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, uncaring gnu.

Tinzakhugpas created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinzakhugpas, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tinzakhugpas, she will be very unhappy.

Tinzakhugpas' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tinzakhugpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about bacteria.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tinzakhugpas.

5. Never eat carrots.