Cemlimgof is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable goblin.

Cemlimgof created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Cemlimgof, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cemlimgof, she will turn you into a hamster.

Cemlimgof's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Cemlimgof's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cemlimgof first in all things.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Cemlimgof on top of all buildings.

3. Run away if five dolphins approach from the west.

4. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

5. Respect your elders.