Gemrenflowmon is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, witless coyote.

Gemrenflowmon created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemrenflowmon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gemrenflowmon, he will turn you into a rock.

Gemrenflowmon's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gemrenflowmon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Gemrenflowmon on top of all buildings.

2. Worship no other gods but Gemrenflowmon.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near snakes while wearing red hats and balancing eight iron spheres on your hands.

4. Never leap in the presence of gulls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.