Tanpanggen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, irritating warg.

Tanpanggen created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tanpanggen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tanpanggen, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Tanpanggen's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tanpanggen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven dolphins approach from the east.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near frogs while wearing cyan tights and balancing three copper spheres on your head.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tanpanggen.

5. Always treat mice with great respect.