Jarnhamdiss is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, kind weasel.

Jarnhamdiss created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnhamdiss, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jarnhamdiss, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jarnhamdiss' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Jarnhamdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jarnhamdiss.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always look after injured shrews.

5. Never write about comets.