Narcutfen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ill-tempered dragonfly.

Narcutfen created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Narcutfen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Narcutfen, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Narcutfen's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Narcutfen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Narcutfen on top of all buildings.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Narcutfen loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

4. Retreat if eight shrews approach from the east.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.