Sabdumcep is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, stupid swan.

Sabdumcep created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabdumcep, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sabdumcep, it will ignore you.

Sabdumcep's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Sabdumcep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Always help rats in need.

5. Never paint your head red.