Mumtarsinlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, slow crocodile.

Mumtarsinlarp created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumtarsinlarp, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mumtarsinlarp, it will turn you into a rock.

Mumtarsinlarp's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Mumtarsinlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not hurt badgers.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Do not commit murder.