Lanbinrulkinsasbastmap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, awesome pigeon.

Lanbinrulkinsasbastmap created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanbinrulkinsasbastmap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lanbinrulkinsasbastmap, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lanbinrulkinsasbastmap's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Lanbinrulkinsasbastmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Never paint your face orange.

3. Always help manatees in need.

4. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.