Dadratlan Witbensad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, merciless bird.

Dadratlan Witbensad created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadratlan Witbensad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dadratlan Witbensad, he will be very unhappy.

Dadratlan Witbensad's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Dadratlan Witbensad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Dadratlan Witbensad on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near sharks while wearing brown boots and balancing nine carbon spheres on your hands.