Funtaglad is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciless armadillo.

Funtaglad created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funtaglad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Funtaglad, it will turn you into a worm.

Funtaglad's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Funtaglad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

3. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Funtaglad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Always help seals in need.