Limmatfad is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, compassionate gorilla.

Limmatfad created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Limmatfad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Limmatfad, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Limmatfad's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Limmatfad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

2. You must love Limmatfad.

3. Limmatfad loves moths, so they must be honoured.

4. Run away if eight shrews approach from the east.

5. Never hurt doves.