Gutbegarmhom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, prudent deer.

Gutbegarmhom created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutbegarmhom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gutbegarmhom, he will strike you with lightening.

Gutbegarmhom's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Gutbegarmhom's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gutbegarmhom.

3. Do not kill sheep.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.