Staffidquam is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, thoughtless hamster.

Staffidquam created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Staffidquam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Staffidquam, she will torture you forever.

Staffidquam's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Staffidquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always obey Staffidquam's priests.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never talk about goats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.