Vonkjenfom is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, smart gnu.

Vonkjenfom created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Vonkjenfom, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vonkjenfom, it will strike you with lightening.

Vonkjenfom's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Vonkjenfom's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.