Davgofxem Tofpakmit Toncargid is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, almighty shark.

Davgofxem Tofpakmit Toncargid created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Davgofxem Tofpakmit Toncargid, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Davgofxem Tofpakmit Toncargid, she will make you grow a tail.

Davgofxem Tofpakmit Toncargid's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Davgofxem Tofpakmit Toncargid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not speak about figs.

3. Always wear black.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Fast once a month.