Hog is a god.
It takes the form of a very thin, blissful
toad.
Hog created energy four thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Hog, it will remain indifferent to you.
If you do not believe in
Hog, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.
Hog's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.
Hog's Holy Commandments1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near gulls while wearing violet ear rings and balancing eight silver spheres on your chest.
2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.
3. Always wear white.
4. Do not chop down trees.
5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.