Dimsomdapsasdinbomnan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy penguin.

Dimsomdapsasdinbomnan created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dimsomdapsasdinbomnan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dimsomdapsasdinbomnan, she will turn you into a rat.

Dimsomdapsasdinbomnan's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dimsomdapsasdinbomnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snails.

2. Erect three platinum sculptures of Dimsomdapsasdinbomnan on top of important buildings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look at stars.