Nuttlagstik is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous mink.

Nuttlagstik created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttlagstik, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nuttlagstik, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Nuttlagstik's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Nuttlagstik's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

5. Never think about comets.