Fenpiglat is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, witless walrus.

Fenpiglat created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenpiglat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fenpiglat, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fenpiglat's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fenpiglat's Holy Commandments

1. Fenpiglat loves birds, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not keep eight sharks in a large pit.

3. Never think about bacteria.

4. You must pray to Fenpiglat four times a day.

5. Never eat onions.