Sathakzagtimwotfed is a god.

It takes the form of a small, staggering squirrel.

Sathakzagtimwotfed created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sathakzagtimwotfed, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sathakzagtimwotfed, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sathakzagtimwotfed's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Sathakzagtimwotfed's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three swans approach from the west.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not kill sharks.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sathakzagtimwotfed.

5. Do not drink alcohol.