Labparkken is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witless unicorn.

Labparkken created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Labparkken, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Labparkken, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Labparkken's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Labparkken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Do not listen to music.