Quafbadpom is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, emotional alligator.

Quafbadpom created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafbadpom, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quafbadpom, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Quafbadpom's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Quafbadpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quafbadpom.

3. Quafbadpom loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not covet oxen.