Bonkbifbess is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, pitiless giraffe.

Bonkbifbess created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbifbess, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bonkbifbess, she will remove you from existence.

Bonkbifbess' most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Bonkbifbess' Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Hide from turquoise mice for they are unholy.