Likquillgil is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, grumpy bat.

Likquillgil created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Likquillgil, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Likquillgil, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Likquillgil's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Likquillgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near tortoises while wearing green stockings.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Likquillgil must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.