Tofkikfonsandflamsanbam is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, weak mouse.

Tofkikfonsandflamsanbam created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofkikfonsandflamsanbam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tofkikfonsandflamsanbam, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tofkikfonsandflamsanbam's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tofkikfonsandflamsanbam's Holy Commandments

1. Tofkikfonsandflamsanbam loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.