Larncubratcap is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, duplicitous donkey.

Larncubratcap created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larncubratcap, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Larncubratcap, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Larncubratcap's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Larncubratcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near foxes.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near tapirs while wearing red rings and balancing six zinc spheres on your hands.

3. You must never eat peanuts.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Do not commit murder.