Wablikkar is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, pitiless goat.

Wablikkar created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wablikkar, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wablikkar, he will be very sad.

Wablikkar's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Wablikkar's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always help shrews.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near horses while wearing blue shorts and balancing six tin spheres on your legs.

5. Fast once a month.