Jigjopcim is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, omniscient rhinoceros.

Jigjopcim created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jigjopcim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jigjopcim, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jigjopcim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Jigjopcim's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jigjopcim.

2. Jigjopcim loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.