Wanyarzan is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, kind crab.

Wanyarzan created light two million years ago.

If you believe in Wanyarzan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wanyarzan, it will boil you in a big pot.

Wanyarzan's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Wanyarzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Feed all hungry tapirs.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always take life seriously.