Yartrill is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome cow.

Yartrill created the Andromeda Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartrill, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yartrill, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yartrill's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Yartrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yartrill.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.
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