Yokzodtonkhit Hamsagbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable dog.

Yokzodtonkhit Hamsagbaf created gold nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yokzodtonkhit Hamsagbaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yokzodtonkhit Hamsagbaf, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yokzodtonkhit Hamsagbaf's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Yokzodtonkhit Hamsagbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill geese.

2. Run away from turquoise sheep, for they are unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

4. Do not take Yokzodtonkhit Hamsagbaf's name in vain.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.