Ontlegkan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, bad-tempered penguin.

Ontlegkan created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontlegkan, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ontlegkan, he will turn you into a rat.

Ontlegkan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Ontlegkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ontlegkan.

3. Run away from green swans, for they are unholy.

4. Never laugh near seals.

5. Never write about black holes.